Complicated musings of a Simple creature

Dear Church,

No, I’m not breaking up with you.  I am, however, going to have to delay our plans to get together.

I would LOVE to be involved in your activities.  I long to be close enough to you to feel your heartbeat.  And before you ask, it’s not you… it’s me.

Well, I suppose it’s partially you, but only because you have taught me so well.  See, I’m trying to love my husband, love my children and be a keeper at home.  For some reason, those things take SO MUCH more time to do correctly than I thought!  By the time we do the bare minimum of keeping the home in the form of morning chores, teach reading, instruct three children in Biblical things, take time to eat, grant the children proper amounts of rest, exercise dominion over our home with our afternoon cleaning and take time to form non-work bonds with our children in the evening, and deal with hiccups and child training (and self-training I must admit) throughout the day…  it’s time for bed.   I would like to say that we don’t waste any time in between.  The truth is, we do, but not enough at any consistent time to package up and spend on anything outside of our home. 

If I tried to become involved in any of your very worthy ministries or studies, if I tried to get closer to you, it would be a matter of trading time from the three things that I have been taught should be my main ministry focus.   At this point, I feel we are only scratching the surface of each of those areas as it is. 

It’s not that I don’t love you anymore.  It’s that I love you enough to focus on what I think you would most want me to do. 

It won’t be like this forever.  Someday, my children will be older.  They will have less napping and more doing.  Less instructing and more participating.  Less teaching how to help and more actual helping.  When that day comes, I want us to get back together.  I want my children to come alongside me and serve well.  In the meantime, I’m teaching them about your central focus.  I’m trying to train them to obey cheerfully and attempting to learn how to do that myself (I’m afraid that they learn more quickly than I do).  I’m hoping to fall deeper in love with your Guide Book so that they will follow behind me.  And frankly, I’m trying to drop kick my kids eight steps ahead of me in every godly pursuit… which I’m thinking probably won’t work, but end up attempting anyway because even as my sin nature inhibits my own pursuit of these things, I see and understand the importance of it enough to want my children trained early so as to avoid the bad habits and/or lack of good habits that I’ve accumulated over the years.  So you see that I still love you and what you stand for.  How could I not love what God adores?

So, please, don’t forget about me.  Don’t think me unloving or uncommitted.  Please help me make this long-distance relationship work.  I will try not to let my love grow cold towards you and I hope you will do the same. 

Love,

Caryn

I am overwhelmed with feelings of awe in regard to my family in general and husband in particular.

 

He still has this hard mass of something in his gut that causes him to shrink back when I forget about it during a hug.  I also forgot about it when I asked him to change a flat tire for the other lady of this house (dumb, dumb, dumb-- he never mentions it and I guess with the chaos that is our life, the fact that he's injured gets pushed out of sight/mind more than it should!!!).  He didn't even bring it up!  He's still going to work as scheduled.  Take that, all ye who skip work because of a head cold or hangover! 

 

Tomorrow afternoon he gets to go in and find out the results of his 'culture'.  That word will forever bring to mind the idea that one should be sprouting wooden shoes or a kimono once 'it' is revealed. 

 

Add to that our budding fashionista.  She received in the mail a beautiful butterfly shirt with a matching long sweater that her grandparents found at a clothing sale.  I almost waived the "We change ONE time... ONCE... and you'll know it's time to change if you've woken up and it is MORNING."  (leading to at least once a day being asked... "Is it morning yet?") but knowing that faltering on a rule with this child will lead to months of set back in that arena, I held fast.  This morning she hurridly doned the coveted clothing only to become stuck midway through the changing process because she "didn't have any pants to go with it".  I quickly explained that jeans would go with it if none of her other items did.  She knew that already, but she didn't HAVE any jeans.  So into the clothing mix goeth I.  (God knew this house needed at least ONE individual with fashion sense, but why couldn't it have been ME instead?) Oh, you DO have jeans, they are just underneath your other clothes.  See? Here are these flower jeans.  "No, I need some with nothing on them."  Deep breath.  "Okay, here are these.  They're just right.  They don't have anything on them."  She hesitates with them in her hands "No, they aren't scratchy enough." and gives the jean-colored pants - not real 'jeans' jeans, just pants that look like jeans.  With the feeling that we've suddenly switched from dressing to playing 'go fish' I dive back in the drawer and come up with a pair of pants that aren't quite 'jeans' material, but aren't light pants either.  "Here, honey, these will work!" She studies them doubtfully and scratches at them with her thumb. 

"Yeah, those'll do.  They'll be okay, I guess."

 

Ten minutes later she's outside in her butterfly tops, her winter coat and REAL jean SHORTS, her pants discarded on the floor of her room.  Apparently they weren't scratchy enough after all.  Time for us to empty the kids' hamper so that her 'scratchy jeans with nothing on them' will get back in her drawer.

 

Then there's Asa who learned a new word today.  The kid is turning TWO in a month, so the fact that he just started saying 'mom-mom' and 'dad-dad' recognizably and in context is a little disturbing.  The fact that he can also do a resonable impression of the word 'marshmallow' if he knows he won't get one until he says it is ALSO disturbing.  (Okay, he can also say 'tato'-potato, 'ello' -oatmeal, and 'tuh-tuh-tootsie' - tootsie roll - the boy has his priorities straight at least.) So he and his daddy managed to find a word he can say very clearly and Asa is SO excited.  We even took a video of his little repetitively spouting new word happy dance in case we need to bribe him into mowing the lawn someday.  And the word is...

 

BUM!! BUM!!  -he yells as he races to me, his eyes glowing with excitement - "BUM BUM BUM" he calls out rushing back to daddy for a high five.  He is obviously male as the bathroom related words rank at least 10 minutes of complete ecstacy.  Good grief!!

 

You must understand that I've never cared for the word 'butt'.  Nor is this because it is slang or because it is crude or for any of the other reasons that older generations dislike it... I just don't like it.  I also don't like "bottom".  Don't ask me why.  Many years ago during high school and a severe lapse of judgement I tuned in to a Tom Green show which I later found to be disgusting most of the time.  But at the time I flipped to it, Tom was chant/rap/singing a rather enchanting song about his bum "My bum is on the cat, my bum is on the dog, my bum is on the man, my bum is on a log.....  My bum is all alone." (enter the showdown corral whistle whistle here OOO EEE OOO EE OOOO) The switch from infomercial to this completely random song had me ROLLING and granted me my approved term for the posterior.  (Hmmm.  That's not bad.  maybe I should have used that.  Can't you see my toddlers running around talking about posteriors?)  I was thrilled.  This is what my children have grown up with.  Never mind that it has completely confused my eldest who is convinced that while both he AND Lithany have bums, SHE does NOT have a BUTT.  =) My husband is thinking some reeducation is in order here.  I'm thinking, you bet, go for it.  Reeducate all you want. I'm WAAAAAY behind you.

 

So Asa, congratulations on your first anatomical word.  Maybe I'll actually record it on the calendar that I'm over six months behind recording in.  (Worse than Sonata with whom I'm only behind three months or so...  unless you count 'percentage of life span'.  Then she's the more deprived.)

 

Then there's Orion who, unbeknownst to me, clipped a clothspin to my back pocket at some point today (I don't know why I'm teaching him to write, since I'm sure this is the prelude to 'kick me' signs.)  Upon finding it, I asked who on earth had done such a thing.  (Sounds like a stupid question, but 'the dad' WAS still in the house at the time... it COULD have been him).  Heard a tell-tale mischievous giggle from the boy.  We then commenced to chasing about the kitchen until his slippers wiped out on the slippery kitchen floor (just assume it's slippery because it's freshly washed, okay???  At least it's not so sticky as to keep him from slipping.)  Returned the favor by pinning it to the cuff of his pants (no back pockets available) and then ran out the door and around the swingset while he's chasing after me with a full-on grin.  One I wish we saw a little more often.  He also ran meds and water out to daddy when Matt forgot to take them before heading out to work.  He also volunteered to change Asa this morning.  Both diaper AND clothes.  He changed Sonata last night and laughed his head off when her kicking feet kept getting the best of him.  He also randomly pointed to a page number in the book we were reading and said "33!! It's 33, mommy!" - I know we've been counting with a number chart up to 40 and 50, so perhaps it shouldn't have shocked me that he actually learned something but it did- He later pointed out 35 and 37 to my growing amazement. 

 

And in other news, I found a child's copy (read, 'has a very few illustrations within the covers') of the Living Bible paraphrase and read it during blanket time.  It was a little rough what with Sonata whining and Asa fussing about something or other and Lithany wanting us to look at the 'pictograph' she made out of her magnets (more like a giant rectangle, but who's going to argue with a fashionista, anyway, unless, perhaps to point out that we don't talk to others during blanket play?) but it got done and the kids were all present and accounted for and (what really made it worthwhile) Orion asked me to continue after we concluded.  So we're making progress.  Also, Asa enjoyed hearing the first chapter of The Big Picture Story Bible, otherwise known as 'Asa's Bible' despite the fact that he's never actually had it read to him.  He liked it.  He listened.  He didn't try to get down.  More progress and on multiple fronts.

 

So you can see, perhaps, why my overall feeling tonight is one of 'blessedness'.  God is good.  Not just on days like today, He is on the ones where I whine too, but I'm FEELING it today.  And that's good too. 

 

 

 

 

The other day Orion, Lithany, Matt and I (and to a slightly lesser extent, Asa) worked on unloading 56 bales of alfalfa hay.  

 

We've had hay days before.  Nothing to worry about. 

 

This time only our little family was available to stack it.  Also, I was called in to care for the baby and put Asa to bed before we got very far.  Also, while I can carry pretty much anything once I get ahold of it, I can't lift very well... so... Matt did all the stacking.  And most of the carrying (since I was inside).  And also alot of the pulling down (though Orion is getting very adept at this).  I come out of it feeling pretty impressed with my family.

 

Matt's been complaining (well, just mentioning, really) the last few days of a sore in his belly button.  Couldn't find anything.  No bug bite.  No pimple.  No anything!  He swabbed it.  Neosporined it.  Lived with it.  This morning he says it still hurts, can't I please look at it again. 

The area around and above the navel is very red.  I still can't find any visible sign of anything wrong, but it looks like an infection of some kind? 

 

Mom, can you come look at my husband's gut for me?  (mothers have to love us for all these random requests, right?)

 

She takes a look and feels around and notices what I had not.  There's a hard ridge above the navel. 

 

He went to the doctor before working a very full day today, came out of the office with instructions to take antibiotic, ibuprofen, use bacitracin, oh and come in again on Friday to have us recheck it.  Oh, and use a hot washcloth on it regularly so that if we have to cut into you, the problem will be on the surface.  Have a nice day at work!!!  He has either an abcess or a hernia.  Probably since hay day. 

 

Poor guy.  Our nicely stacked hay looks so good, though. 

 

Meanwhile, Lithany is raking leaves into a pile and Orion, Asa and I are digging up part of the septic tank.  This lid part.  So it can be pumped.  Because when we had 30 extra people taxing it, we had little swamps in our yard.  And we don't want to have to do it during the winter when the ground is froze. (for those of you who don't know, a septic system basically lets all the waste water drain into a tank at a slow pace so as not to disturb any bacteria or settling of the contents and allows the clear water to drain off the top while allowing all the, er, other stuff to sink.  Generally, bacteria keeps the sediment down and properly built/maintained it should last for an entire lifetime, but this doesn't happen very often.)  So, anyway...

 

We're digging down about two feet of yard to find a metal lid with a handle on it.  That's the goal.  Orion and I are pretending to be treasure hunters (some treasure, right?) I hear my shovel scrape something that does NOT sound like dirt.  Excitement builds.  Then I dig down hard in the middle of the hole to see if we've actually hit a lid or just a random rock.  Up comes a rotten piece of usb/particle board.  In falls alot of our loose dirt into the newly found abyss.  No metal lid for us!!

 

Inside go the children whom mommy does NOT want to have investigate this hole... or fall into it.  That would disturb the sediment, after all. =) 

 

Now mom is waiting for her last little dear to fall asleep so she can go try to uncover the edges of this... um... non-lid (it's obviously not a circle, what shape is it in, how big and how careful will I need to be to avoid losing my balance near the edge?)  She is hoping that this is a shoddy lid on a well-built septic system, but is somewhat concerned that our sewage removal expert is going to find other problems with it that may require lots more than the anticipated  pump fee.  Oh well, worry doesn't get you anywhere, and though we came close upon our return from China four years ago, we've never actually been broke.  Savings are happy things, people.

 

So an abscess in the gut and a abyss in the yard.  Both good words by the way.  Say them out loud.  Don't you feel intelligent spouting such verbage?!?  Now I'm going to play a mindless game to quit obsessing about the abscess, the abyss and the absence of sleep in my second born. 

  

Had a Bible Study leader one time that wisely started the group out with the understanding that if you hadn't done the 'homework' during the week, you were welcome to come listen, but were NOT welcome to contribute.

 

Today is Sunday. 

 

I'm thinking that if making God first in your life the rest of the week is a prerequisite for community worship, I don't belong there this week. 

 

I would love to find myself holding true to commitments I want to make but don't since I know I won't keep them.

 

Battled with bitterness earlier this afternoon.  Wishing I had that licked for good or at least that I'd start battling bitterness in a different area so as to have a sense of progress.  Knowing none of these things will be truly cured until heaven.

 

Very, very, very melancholy day.

 

But becase these things bothering me means I still have the Holy Spirit working in me, I have hope that tomorrow will go better. 

 

And because that's a good thought to end the day on, good night.

 

No, there is no official 'Bible Time' entered on our daily docket, however,

 

Today, after taking four children shopping DURING naptime we stopped at McD's as a special treat for both the VERY good children and the mom who didn't want to think about supper and wanted baths taken and beds made (no, we don't usually make beds mid afternoon, but we'd stripped them for the laundry) before a VERY early bedtime and who decided that 4pm is a perfectly appropriate supper time for children who are going to bed in three hours or less anyway!

 

An older couple was sitting in the adjoining both.  Of course, they notice the older three, and getting up to leave spotted the youngest.

 

"OH!  You have a little one too!  Are they ALL yours?"

 

I did NOT say "Yes, we're a little crazy!" NOR did I say "Yes, we are very blessed." which is supposed to be my new by-line.  But I did gush about how good they'd been and why we were there for a treat. 

 

Progress.  We're making progress. 

It's a good thing she didn't ask me that two hours ago, though.  I might have blown it.

Those two rarely fit together these, days… and yet they do.

If you read my small-town post, you’ll remember how impressed I was with the gentleman who had nothing to prove, no desire to show off, no real ‘thought’ at all about what he was doing because what he was doing was natural.  Not something he had to do.  Not something he should do.  Just something he did… like breathing.

I like natural.  Perhaps that’s a problem.  (Taking part of that statement back, I don’t mind the additives in my favorite foods, for example.)

But I miss natural in relationships because everyone thinks they -and I- need to TRY so hard. 

We need to try to be friendly, interested, compassionate, kind, responsible, attentive, excited, and a whole HOST of other things that are all required of us as good Christian people.

Personally, I would prefer it if we would just BE those things when we are and politely excuse ourselves when we aren’t.  You know, like an unseemly gas passing… you know it’s not really status quo, but really, who can change reality so you EXCUSE it.  You don’t PRETEND you didn’t because everyone knows better anyway!!! What would you think if your pastor suddenly stopped in the middle of the sermon and said… you know, my heart’s really not in this today.  Find a few people and fellowship (read/pray)  together while I go pray through this, please.   I personally would appreciate the transparency.  The honesty.  The reality.  As opposed to him persevering with a plastic smile because he’s TRYING.  Wouldn’t you?  Maybe you wouldn’t.

Okay, getting to the point…

So our church and our government have much in common (not “our church” specifically but “THE church” in general… please don’t think I hate my church.  It’s a great group of people and I would be farther behind on actually doing/understanding/being the things that we’re all trying to be if I weren’t a part of it and learning from them) in the management department.  Or perhaps the department of departments.

They both excel in creating programs for things that should be natural.  Can you identify with any of this???

Programs that help people meet people

Programs that help women be women

Programs that help men be men

Programs that help children learn the Bible

Programs that help people keep others accountable

Programs that build unity

Programs that minister to youth

Programs for hospitality

Programs for worship

Programs that minister to the needy

Programs that assist in Bible study

And all the activities that go along with each and every program because we are TRYING so hard to be what we’re supposed to be.

Am I the only person who wonders…

Do you think if we stopped TRYING so hard to be what we’re supposed to be, started where we ARE, Learned where we’re supposed to be, and daily lived in an honest, growing walk and encouraged others who aren’t where they’re supposed to be either that maybe… just maybe the things these programs are TRYING to achieve would take care of themselves?  Maybe while we’re exercising real one to one hospitality that costs us our time and effort we can encourage women to be women, men to be men, children to learn Scripture and youths to follow God?  That MAYBE we’d become a unified group that kept one another accountable, not because of a program but because THAT’S WHAT WE NATURALLY DO as we grow?!  In a Christian college dorm I learned quickly who would be helpful for me in my walk and who needed my help in theirs.  It’s hard not to be transparent when you have communal bathrooms, after all.  Communal… community.  See the tie-in?  Community of believers.  That’s natural.  Despite the fact that many of those programs have benefited me, that I have (at one time or another) been an assistant or leader in one or more of them, I can’t help but think that we should quit using programs to protect us from reality. 

Related but political note:

Do you think if the government quit trying to protect everyone from themselves (you name it! From school laws to social security to healthcare to company bailouts to…) , protect everyone from everyone else (gun control, FDA, etc), and protect us all from ignorance and give us back the right to be uneducated, uninformed consumers who have to research for ourselves,  save for what we want and prioritize in order to get what we need we’d eventually learn to quit blaming the government programs for our problems and start exercising our FREEDOM to make bad choices and the FREEDOM to pay the consequences of those choices and suddenly have the FREEDOM to make better choices based on what we’ve seen happen to ourselves and others.  Based on the outcomes we see played out in ours, our predecessors and others’ lives?!!?  Quit using programs to protect us from reality.

And there, my friends, we have our similarities between church and government.  Though current trendy law says they must be separate, at least one of them is copying the other.

This may all be an illusion created by an overtired brain.  There you have it.  That’s reality.  I’m not going to try to pretend I spent more than the time it took to type this up to think it through, so feel free to blast several theological or just plain logical holes in the entire thing.  While you do that, I’m going to go to bed so I don’t have to pretend an energetic good morning for you tomorrow.

Disclaimer: I am in no way against organization, structure or planning in its place.  God is a God of order, not of chaos.  Some programs are merely 'programs' because they provide organization and planning.  These types of 'programs' do not cause a problem for me and I daresay, they never will.  One less theological/logical hole for you to blast, I know... sorry to deprive you of that. =)

Consider how randomly my brain works:

At Sunday Bible Study we were reminded how the entire Old Testament pretty much revolves around the person of Jesus Christ. 

During the song time we sing about making every part of my life glorifying to God.

ERGO,

I need to do Bible study with my children.

Sounds like a geometry proof that wasn’t studied/supported well, I admit.

Here’s why 2 + 1 = 4 today.

In the midst of raising four children, trying to learn how to keep house and cook (always learn this BEFORE you get married… and even if you don’t PLAN to get married.  It’s much easier then!) and learning to care for our little acreage (read: milk a cow, care for chickens, maintain feed supplies, clean out chicken coops, gather eggs, chew on a piece of straw and not trip on my overalls or get my braids in my eyes all at the same time, etc), I have started homeschooling. 

I know, it sounds hectic, but really it isn’t as hard as I thought and, in fact, makes our mornings much smoother.  Understand, please, that we’re not talking a full course of high school subjects, just kindergarten reading and math and a preschool course on coloring… I mean writing!.. and math.  Nevertheless, it takes planning and dedication to do this. 

Before we moved out of our Winslow house… well, before I had Asa… well, at least when we first had Lithany… at some point in the perhaps distant past, we had a great devotional time.  Orion and I (does that tell you how long ago this was?) worked our way through the entire Old Testament and he would retell the stories to me using the pictures and his single/two word non-sentence making way at 18 months.  It was amazing and encouraging and shaming.

Amazing because I didn’t know that children could learn such things.  Encouraging because I watched him grow in godliness even as a tot to the point where he outshone me often.  Shaming because as amazing and encouraging as that was it has fallen by the wayside.  Lithany retells Bible stories, sure, but they are usually backwards, inside out and mixed in with eight other plot-lines from her picture books.  And sadly, I’m not sure Asa truly KNOWS any of the great stories.  Most he has never heard.  And he will turn two in a few months.

At some point in the process of moving I decided that good devotional times with the kids worked better one on one.  Not that it can’t be done the other way, but there is such a difference in development and understanding and previous scaffolding ($30 elementary education word, here!) that it’s hard to reach the heart of an almost two, almost four and a just turned five all at the same time.  When they are five, six, and seven this will, perhaps, be easier.  In the meantime, I keep meaning to implement individual Bible time with the kids before bed. 

It hasn’t happened.  By the time we get to 6:30pm when I start the bedtime countdown with Asa I’m beat.  At this point in the evening it is very common for me to have forgotten that ‘children are a gift of the Lord the fruit of the womb is a reward’.  It is incredibly common for me to have my eyes, not on the goal of godliness but on the goal of survival of the tiredest (namely me since children are NEVER tired, you know!)    

Keep your eyes on the right goal, mom!

So in the coming month (I like to give myself lee time in my goals, understand.) I will need to figure out how to implement this.  If I can find the energy to teach my children to read and cipher, then I can certainly find the energy to teach them about the God who created reason, language and logic.  If I can’t do both, then perhaps they can be late in the reading and ‘rithmatic departments.  I think I would be completely okay with ditching the morning schooltime in favor of a morning Bible time if it came to that.  Prefering instead to perfom this part of parenting prior to (darn, I can’t think of a P word for sleep, help me out!) sleep, I hereby grant myself one month to work out the kinks and get our focus realigned… both the kids’ and mine... before ditching the school routine that I've already worked hard to set up.  Instead, I will hopefully set up another one.  Since I will no longer be milking the cow in the morning, perhaps Bible time CAN happen in the morning.  Or learning verses in the morning and Bible stories/devo at night?? This is why I need a month to figure it out, see?

God, help us live lives that are all about You!  If I have to choose, I prefer to know that our children are godly rather than educated (and for those of you who think uneducated is a prerequisite for Godliness, let me just say that they CAN be both!  I've SEEN it with my own eyes!)

And, in an unrelated ‘by the way’, I’m done saying that we’re crazy for having so many young children.  (perhaps not entirely done, but at least TRYING to adjust the underlying child-devaluing attitude)

I caught my oldest son listening from the back of the van as I said via phone to my sister “A day without kids, who wouldn’t jump at that!” in response to her weekend plans and had to wonder what message he took from that one small comment, repeated in other forms both verbal and non many times in many ways on many, many other days.  Did it undo all the times I said “I’d miss you if you were lost!” as the reason to stay close in a store.  All the times I’ve said I wouldn’t trade him for anything?  Will he believe me the next time I say that God gave him (and his brother and sisters) to us for a specific purpose with a specific plan?  Will he trust the love I express when I tell him I’m enjoying him if he knows I’d prefer a day without him? 

So from now on I want to be pleased about having four small children.  If you are one of those people who listened while I whined, stop.  If you feel sorry for me when you see us trying to get through HyVee on a bad day, don’t.  Don’t pity me my hectic, child-filled life.  If you must feel in some way about our abundance of kneehuggers, then smile for me, for I am blessed.  God said so, look it up.

Now remind me of that at 6:30pm tomorrow. =)   

 

The following is a day that I willingly undertook and an example of what CAN be done (though is not necessarily advisable to do) with four children five and under...

 

Woke up to two children in my bed?  Started the night with one, son woke up saying "Mommy, are there lots of people in our bed?" to which I say "You had a strange dream, go back to sleep" and then find a few too many arms for just him. =) LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN to your children, mommy!!!! =)  

Fed baby

Milked cow (she's kicking again and I'm only getting a gallon instead of a gallon PLUS, but that's what I get for skipping two days!)

 

Cut hair (Both boys and the dad... and a few snips on Lithany's just to keep all things equal)

 

Bathed three children (should have also bathed baby but didn't)

 

Dressed, combed and changed as needed.

 

Begged husband to find and write down directions for me (he was instrumental in many other ways as well or we would have been later getting out the door)

 

Sent three children to get in the van and get buckled

 

Let chickens out of hen house - gathered eggs.  (EIGHT!!! - seven chicken eggs and our SECOND duck egg---that we've found, finding them will be much easier now)

 

Finished buckling third child, added fourth, a clothing/jacket bag, drink bag, diaper bag and purse and left home... at 10:30 am

 

Drove.

 

Arrived in Lincoln.  Took all children to the bathroom.  Realized that handling four kids and three bags had left me unaware that I was not also carrying my purse.  Parked everyone next to grandma in the stands and went back to the unlocked van to retrieve my purse.  Good deal.

 

Watched a football game (the first one televised or otherwise that I, the girls and Asa have actually watched... second one for Orion since he watched an indoor one last July 4th.) -fed baby during halftime in the van, took Lithany to the bathroom three times BEFORE halftime.  Watched Orion show up on the 'big screen'.   Watched our Refrigerator #70 pace the sidelines.  Watched a guy on the other team get flipped through the air (I think that's what sold me on the game right there... though if Sterling had played that would have done it too.  His team made the first touchdown and held the lead for awhile, but lost 30something to 18? - see, totally not football fan material, here or I'd know all that.)

 

Gathered up all the aforementioned bags and children and headed out to hug the Refrigerator.  (You have to understand that this little nephew of mine is massive in person WITHOUT football pads on.  This is the first non-picture time I've seen him dressed out.  He IS actually like a refrigerator, though he bemoans his 'chicken legs'.  All I have to say to that is "good grief".

 

Loaded back up in the van - drove home.

 

Unloaded four kids (three awake, one asleep, one crying to eat again),

 

Fed the baby

 

Fixed 'cheesy bread' - sliced cheese broiled on a bun... the kids think it's fancy- dished out watermelon

 

Cooed with Sonata who has been virtually ignored (but definitely not un-stimulated) up to this point.  I love three month olds... they smile, they coo, they (depending on the kid) don't cry as much, they sleep better.  They're can entertain themselves with simple things, like their hands or the fan or your face and are on the threshold of laughing, but can't crawl around and get into trouble yet.  It's a great age.  Where was I?  Oh yeah, directing kids to get ready for bed.

 

Hand Sontata off to Grandma.

 

Put Asa to bed. 

Realize that preschoolers can be helpful in the next endeavor and ask an all too willing Lithany to change back out of pajamas (which she put on without complaint) to come help mommy and grandma.

 

Go out to the garage and sort most of the potatoes that have been drying or curing or whatever the proper term is in the bed of the pick up truck.  Give up when they ALL start looking sunburned due to the green cast they are taking on in the dim light.  Add "replace garage lightbulb" to my mental to-do list.

 

Take kids back in, read them stories (Have you ever read the ACTUAL story "Pinnochio"? I hadn't until now, it's pretty great!  I think we're up to chapter 29), and put them to bed.

 

Count chickens and chase ducks into the hen house.  (Bless my husband who has helped me the past two nights in chasing them in, because tonight they headed in with just me herding.  I love it when animals figure out what they're supposed to be doing!)  Feed them - for the next morning, not for tonight because they are already roosting. 

 

Check to make sure kittens have food.

 

Open barn doors which have been closed to prevent poultry access since we no longer want them roosting in there and befouling the hay or bugging my cow while we're milking... now if the kittens will learn to stay out during milking!!!

 

Let cow in.  (another case of how easy things are when animals know what they're supposed to do.)

 

Feed Tidus (now that the chickens and ducks aren't out to scarf it all!!!)

Feed husband... I mean, make his lunch for tonight.

Check his uniform for ironing needs and see him out the door.

 

Sit down (in a CHILDLESS bed tonight) and realize that this has been a very full and exciting day.  Wonder what on EARTH I was thinking when I considered undertaking these things at all, let alone all in the same day.  Watch my mind dance when I realize that it all worked out with very few annoyances considering that children had no naps, only snoozes in the car - baby girl being the exception.  Realize that anything is possible with four children five and under if you have the energy and patience to undertake it (Usually I lack one or both of those!) and/or if all the children cooperate, but also know from experience that busy days like this, especially those without naps, don't usually go this well. 

 

Become thankful that the only 'new thing' to do on my list AFTER tomorrow (which is food processing day) for this next week is adding Orion's math class to our 'new as of last week' homeschool routine.  Hallelujah.  Now if I can just get our afternoon daily routine down, we'll be set.  And, I think our family is going to survive making it to church tomorrow!!!!!  Thank you...

 

and GOODnight!

 

Previous and future entries which are typed after my brain shuts down in the evening WILL contain grammatical errors.

 

My apologies to all those who not only notice but also obsess about the misuse of the word 'to' and other egregious errors.  

 

Please know that when you find the errors in your OWN writing the day after it is posted on a blog the carelessness causes FAR MORE obsessive disgust than when you find it in others' writing.

 

 

Went to the dentist the other day (that’s not the ‘good time’) as I’m awaiting my turn I see a button-down plaid, blue jeans, stocky man exit after his procedure.  After being shown to the door by the dentist himself and exchanging cordial farewells, he opens the first of two doors he must navigate… then he stops.  Holds the door.  Not the impatient “hurry through this door so I can get through the one you’re using” but a polite and comfortable, respectful holding of the door. Not only does he hold the door, he asks if the entrancee needs a hand with the other one.  In comes a gray haired lady in a wheelchair and her companion.  Charlie (that’s his name) exchanges pleasantries, greetings, weather updates as they maneuver through his door.  Not in a needy “I HAVE to say something to someone” or “I need you to notice me” or “I do this because I'm a gentleman" way, but in a relaxed manner that says of him without any effort “I notice you, this is no big deal, I treat everyone this way without even thinking about it” kind of way.  If he’d been wearing a hat, he’d have unconciously tipped it.  Maybe I’m a sucker, but the old-fashioned gentleman values he displayed caught hold of my heart.  Not because of the wheelchair, either… just because that kind of consideration.. the kind that doesn’t express the person’s own needs, just their values… seems to be so rare.

Went to an auction today.  Spent $51 total and purchased what when put together will be a complete pig corral (minus the actual labor for installation) and a bunch of extra posts for replacing perimeter poles or starting our rotational grazing fences for the cows or whatever.  Spent much of the day watching farmers socialize, kids chasing kittens and friendly, relaxed, respectful conversations among complete strangers.  As I’m watching the auctioneer rattle of “Here we go, $5 your choice, fi-dolla-fi-dollar, (hup!) have a fi-dolla, gimme ten dolla…” as he begins the sale of wire and electric fence posts I scan the crowd and realize that I’m a minority.  I wear neither overalls NOR ballcap (one of which is a given for 80% of the crowd) and I have the wrong equipment to fit in with the gender present.  When I did win a bid, I hear “SOLD to the young lady number…?”.  Later as I chose to take BOTH piles of less-desirable posts when the afternoon made bidding slow causing the auctioneer to work doubly hard to evoke and raise the bidding, the spotter told me I was being a sweetheart and saving them the trouble.  Lest you think the comment indicates that I got taken rather than that they were tired and ready to be done, I bought two piles (somewhere between 40-60 total posts some rotted, some usable, some decent) for $15 total when you can drop $40 on a single new post of the same type.   I left feeling like a ‘sweet, young lady’.   

To use a small-town colloquialism, “Bless their hearts.”